Getting Married

I want to get married. Contrary to what I have been telling people, I must admit the bitter truth that I have only been publicly saying the opposite because of frustration.

Why do people get married anyway? They say it’s something you just feel. There will come a time when it would feel… right. Isn’t that a dangerous thing? Feelings are fleeting - they come and go. So why would I rely on such an unstable basis for a decision of a lifetime?

No matter how I rationalize this, I believe the time may have come. Sometimes my mind just tells me that it’s not some time in the future, I want it now.

Another determinant should be the other person involved. Because if you get married, it’s not just you anymore, is it? So what do you do if you think (and feel) that now is the moment but the other end of the equation won’t meet you just yet? Frustration comes in. It’s not like it’s now or never. It’s probably : the more I wait, the less I’m convinced I still need to.

Now I understand that even if I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage. And that is without a doubt. The thing is, there should be two people on board. For now I’m a lone passenger in this ship.

So what do I do? What do I hold on to now?