My Korean Linguistic Biography
My Korean journey is a story that dates back to 2004. However, as of writing (2020), I still don’t speak Korean fluently.
Boa, Jjang Nara, Kanta, DBSK… does any one of these earlier Kpop artists sound familiar to you? In 2004, Kpop was unheard of in the Philippines. I was in third year high school when I first “discovered” Korean music, now known as Kpop. Cable TV gave me access to the South Korean international channel, Arirang, where I got my regular dose of Korean music through a show called Pops in Seoul. Other than that, I had to scour for information about my favorite artists and this new culture I wanted to know more of from the internet via our dial-up connection. I had to stay up late at night to have an uninterrupted, free (and relatively faster) connection to download videos from forums. Eventually, I found myself learning Korean. I saved a few web pages to learn Korean online. I found and printed it one by one, organized them in a neat file. I learned Korean myself because there were barely any institution offering Korean classes in the proximity.
From self-studying, I learned basic Korean. I started watching Korean films and Korean dramas. Mainstream, local TV started airing imported and dubbed Korean dramas. Soon, VCDs with poorly English-subtitled Korean dramas were on sale on the internet. The country was picking up, little by little, and so was the internet. Word of the best Korean films and dramas to look out for spread like wildfire. I was no longer the only one. But the stigma was still there. I knew my classmates were judging me for being such a fan of these eccentric artists they have not heard of before. I didn’t care for what they had to say. I created much noise for everyone in school to know I spoke, read, wrote and understood Korean; that I watch and anticipate Korean media. I even wrote my notes using the Korean alphabet so I can practice (also so that my batchmates would stop photocopying my notes a week before quarterly exams).
For one of my “free talk” in English class, I carefully wrote the Korean alphabet in Manila paper, stuck it on the board and taught my classmates in second year high school. I only had 10 minutes but I managed to teach them basic expressions in Korean: 안녕하세요 (anyeonghaseyo), 여보세요 (yoboseyo)… In hindsight, I don’t think it was appreciated then. After my 10-minute tutorial, I heard some of my classmates mock the words I just taught them: “ayaw ko sa’yo” (I don’t like you) a Filipino phrase rhyming with 여보세요 (yoboseyo, Korean expression when picking up the phone). I knew it wasn’t directed to me, but I felt misunderstood.
I entered university (college) in 2007, and my interest and passion in the Korean language and culture never wavered. One of my uncles took notice of this and encouraged me to take language learning seriously. He told me how much of a good investment I am after. My parents were not as enthusiastic as he was but I held on to his belief I could make something out of this “hobby”.
The world was not ready for Korean enthusiasts, like me, yet. I still received a lot of mockery from my classmates. This time, I played a lower profile but I didn’t stop. Sometime in the second semester of my first year in college, I sought the advice of our College guidance counselor and learned that there was a two-week exchange program in Ehwa Woman’s University in Seoul. To be qualified, I had to be of junior standing. That became my motivation and I became even more determined than before. I intensified my self-studying to have a bigger advantage from other applicants while waiting for the opportunity.
That opportunity never came. Why? Life happened.
In 2009, I transferred schools, as fulfilment to one of my other dreams. I’ve always wanted to attend and have a degree from the premier University in the country. I made it after two years of trying and I was successfully admitted to a program where I majored in a European language - French.
French was and is tough in the first few levels. I didn’t seem to make any progress and I become even more confused as the days go by. Korean was getting in the way of my progress in French. At what point, I asked my professor “Mademoiselle, 뭐라고요 (mweragoyeo)?” instead of the French “comment?”. No wonder she ignored my question. I also started mixing up words in French and Korean without noticing. Instead of saying “저는 한국어를 조금 알아요” (I know a little Korean), I said, “저는 한국어를 un peu 알아요". I had to make a difficult decision to put Korean aside because my diploma was of higher priority than this long-time passion. Just before I put Korean on pause, I asked a ridiculous question to my professor: “Madame, do you think I can study French in Korea for an exchange program?”. Naturally, she gave me that look and said: “I think it’s best to study French in a French speaking country, dear.”
So there goes my Korean “dream”. And forget, I did. I stopped watching Korean dramas and movies and I stopped listening to Korean music, just when the society was starting to be “accepting” of Korean fans like I was.
It wasn’t until 2015, when I was about to leave for another exchange program to France, when I started to revive this old passion. I was originally booked a flight to Paris via China but I refused and requested if the connecting flight be made elsewhere. They were kind enough to heed my request and granted me a ticket with a connecting flight at Incheon via Korean Air. I discovered I had eight hours in between two flights so I searched for options to head out of the airport. FINALLY, after a decade, I get my chance to immerse myself in Korea to relive my Korean speaking skills.
Unfortunately, my Korean didn’t prove to be sufficient as the 아줌마 (ajjuma, lady) didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to say (or I said it very poorly) and instead of directing me to the free transit city tour meeting point, she directed me to security gates to the connecting gates.
I spent eight hours inside the airport. I did get a little bit of local encounters when I went to a café, had a massage and availed of the free shower. Ten months after my stay in France, I took the same Korean Air flight back but the four-hour transit was not a qualifier for the free transit tour.
It wasn’t until 2018 when I decided to formally enroll in a class offered by the UP Linguistics Department. I was so excited and never missed a meeting! Even if the classes I chose were on weekday nights, I diligently attended all meetings and took every lesson seriously. The first module was easy on me since I’ve been studying by myself for 14 years already! Still, I knew I had to go through this level to make it further.
Just before the final evaluation, I decided I was determined to take a Korean language certification (TOPIK) test, which means that I had to continue enrolling until, at least, the fourth module.
I’ll cut to the chase. I didn’t get there (again, I know right?). I had to take the second module twice. Why? I took the second module right away after the end of the first. But I had to abandon half way because I had to leave for Lithuania for a month for the summer language course. On my second take, I just simply lost the momentum.
Until now, I haven’t picked up the momentum and I’m not certain I will. How odd, right? All the opportunities to learn and expose myself in the culture is literally right in front of me. Sometimes, it even slaps me hard on the face. I would also now have the acceptance of society. And yet, now, it seems I become reluctant. Discouraged? Tired? I don’t really know.
I still feel excited and giddy whenever I hear Korean, especially now that I hear it constantly. Along the way, I also made a lot of Korean friends (via internet from Cyworld, classmates in college, language coursemates in France).
I hope it doesn’t take another 10 years until I get myself back to the Korean (band)wagon. It’s never too late to try again.