Bookmarks, Dreams and Apsirations
As I sat down this morning to do some spring cleaning on my browser’s bookmarks page, I was reminded of how much has changed in my life over the years. As a hopeful Leni, I had pinned websites and accumulated folders of resources for various dream jobs that I hoped to pursue someday. But today, in my 30s, I am faced with the reality that some of these dreams have already been fulfilled, some dreams may never see the light of day, and it's time to let them go.
French Materials
The first bookmark folder I removed was the resources for French materials. I smiled as I remembered the journey I had been on with this language. Not only did I become fluent in French, but it has become an everyday language for me now. I even enjoyed a long and fulfilling career teaching French.
Language Learning
As I continued to go through my bookmarks, I realized that many of them were related to language learning. I decided to merge some of my language materials into one single folder, most of them dictionaries. It felt good to let go of some of the excess clutter and simplify my resources.
A career at the UN
As I continued to go through my bookmarks, I also came to terms with the fact that some dreams, no matter how much we want them, are just not sustainable for the life we want to live. The folder dedicated to resources for a career in the UN was one of those dreams. Many of the choices and decisions I made in the past 10 years were to craft a future career in this institution. It seems like the detour I took led me to some other place. As much as I still wanted to pursue it, and believe me I haven’t gone much closer to it now than I ever thought I would, I realize now deep down that it is no longer my path. Deleting that folder brought a sense of relief as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Library and Information Science
But as I came across the folder for documentalist/library science resources, I found myself hesitating. I had just recently gone through a job interview in that field, and while I still have yet to hear back from them (it doesn’t look promising), the dream of working in a library/bookstore/archive still held a special place in my heart. I wasn't quite ready to let go of that dream just yet, so I left the folder untouched for now.
Moving Forward
Going through my bookmarks page was a humbling experience. It reminded me that life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes our dreams change along the way as we continue to navigate life as we get older. But even if we don't end up pursuing our dreams from our youth, the lessons and skills we learn from them will always be a part of our present.
Reflecting on this experience, I realized that as much as I still have many dreams and aspirations, I also need to focus on creating a stable and sustainable life for myself. I need to let go of stagnant energy and focus on the present in order to welcome new and fresh ideas in the future. Spring is a time of renewal and growth, and cleaning up my bookmarks page has reminded me of the importance of letting go of old dreams and making space for new ones.
As I move forward, I am grateful for the experiences and opportunities that have led me to where I am today. Spring cleaning my bookmarks page was a small but meaningful step in letting go of the past and embracing the present. It's a reminder to be grateful for the paths that we have taken to get where we are now.