Why and how I learned to be my best companion
As someone who usually travels alone, does not mind solely celebrating festivities and generally enjoys being by myself, I often receive curious or pitying comments from others who don't fully understand why I choose to do activities like these alone. While I appreciate their concern and interest, it's difficult to fully express in a few words why I feel so comfortable in my own company. But in the spirit of sharing my perspective, here is an attempt to explain how and why (I learned to) enjoy my own company.
A history of heartbreak
Three significant events in my life have led me to become self-reliant and fiercely independent. Losing my mother at the young age of 18, being ghosted by my first boyfriend, and leaving my home country were all painful experiences that taught me the importance of being able to rely on myself. From these experiences of loss, I learned that I (should) could weather any storm and stand strong in the face of adversity.
Gaining and losing relationships
Over the years, I've lost and gained many relationships. While I cherish the memories and the people who have come into my life, I've also learned that no relationship is permanent except the one you have with yourself. Life is constantly changing - prices of goods and services fluctuate, seasons change, people move, rules and laws are added, removed or amended, and people come and go. Even we ourselves change. However, if there’s one person from whom we cannot escape, it’s ourselves.
Being my own best friend
Even if I enjoy the company of others, I can also be my very own companion. While I'm not purely self-sufficient, and I miss those close to me when I'm alone, I truly enjoy my own company. I also cannot oblige anyone - not even my family or friends - to be with me every single time I want or need them to. Sometimes, I even find that I can better reflect on my life and my experiences when I'm alone, and I feel a deep sense of peace and contentment that comes with being by myself. It becomes even more of a pleasure to share life with people I love when I have already thought about things thoroughly by myself.
Observing the world
Traveling alone, or even just taking a short walk alone, is one of the most entertaining things I do. I get to observe the world around me, and if I'm lucky, I might even meet new people. Some of the best encounters I've had have been when I was alone: encountering new people and new parts of myself that I wouldn't have otherwise discovered if I were constantly accompanied. I have a tendency to experience tunnel vision when I’m with someone. My whole attention and focus will revolve around the person (/ people) I’m with and will often neglect my surroundings. Being alone gives me the opportunity to see my environment and the bigger picture.
Finding freedom in independence
Perhaps the most compelling reason for me to travel alone and enjoy my own company is the sense of freedom and independence it brings. I can make my own decisions without considering anyone else's preferences or schedules. I can wake up at any time, eat wherever I want, and do whatever I want without external pressures or expectations. This sense of autonomy is incredibly liberating and helps me recharge my batteries - physically, socially, mentally and emotionally.
While I appreciate the presence of the people around me, I really am my best companion. Traveling alone or simply being by myself for a few minutes in the daily has been most refreshing, entertaining and enlightening. Though it may be difficult or absurd for others to understand, I genuinely find peace and contentment in my own company and have learned to be my best companion. To others, it sounds selfish, scary, or unimaginable. It is all that - it is selfish to a certain extent, it is incredibly scary but it is doable and it’s something that took me years to hone. It does get lonely sometimes, but I take comfort in the fact that when I finally recognize that I am in desire or need, I can always rely on a few, treasured people to keep me additional company. I don’t need for everyone to understand. I’m thankful that I have a few important people who do. And all I really need is for me to be at peace with the idea of being alone. I’m grateful I’m given this liberty and opportunity for solitude.