Who are we? If not what we do.

In our existence, we often seek to define ourselves through the roles we play, the careers we pursue, and the people we surround ourselves with. For a long time, I was no exception to this universal tendency. When asked, "Who are you?" my instinctual response would mirror the tasks and responsibilities that consumed my daily life. But as the poet Rumi once wisely penned, "Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth." It was time for me to untangle my identity from the constraints of societal expectations.

I used to bind my identity to what I did, a natural inclination shared by many. Psychologists call this phenomenon "role identity." It's a framework where our self-worth is closely tied to our job titles and achievements. However, as fate would have it, circumstances conspired to strip me of my professional identity. In that moment of reckoning, I found myself adrift in a sea of uncertainty, like a ship without a compass.

When the foundations of my identity were shaken, I sailed on a journey of self-discovery. Who was I beyond the job titles, the accolades, and the daily grind? It was a question that led me down a labyrinthine path of introspection, where I unearthed my true essence.

I discovered that I am what I love, the passions that ignite my soul, the symphonies of joy that play in my heart when I immerse myself in my interests. I am the intrepid traveler, venturing into the unknown to unravel the beauty of diverse cultures. I am the polyglot, weaving words and phrases from different tongues into understanding and connection.

But life, as it often does, threw its curveballs. Borders closed in 2020, and the world around me ceased to be the expansive playground it once was. The cacophony of obligations left me with little time to nurture new languages or explore new horizons. Amidst these changes, I found myself questioning yet again, "Who am I?"

I am my nationality, the place I call home, and the culture(s) that influence my identity. Yet, when I had to traverse continents, adapting and assimilating to be accepted, I wondered if I could be both if I could harmonize the notes of my diverse heritage into a melodious composition of self.

And then, there is the company we keep. We are, to some extent, reflections of those we surround ourselves with. But life can be capricious. Friends moved away, some bonds faded, and others snapped under the weight of life's trials. My significant other departed without a word, and I lost my mother to the cruelty of cancer. In the wake of these profound losses, I confronted the haunting question: "Who am I?"

Losing people, unable to trust their consistent presence, was a pivotal moment, a wake-up call that beckoned me to be my own steadfast companion, to find solace within myself. As I had pondered in earlier writings, we must learn not to depend solely on others for our sense of self. (Read: Why and how I learned to be my best companion)

So, who are we, after all? I have come to realize that our identity is not a singular thread but a complex mixture of what we do, think, say, love, and experience. It is a blend of our past, present, and future. If one strand is taken away, we do not unravel. We remain anchored, resilient, and ever-evolving.

As the great philosopher Aristotle once said, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." Through the complexities of identity, I have come to know myself — a symphony of experiences, a constellation of passions, and a resilient soul anchored in the essence of just being, as opposed to doing.