Two weeks before going back to the Philippines, I found myself packing two years’ worth of stuff - or junk. I did and redid my packing countless of times and I still couldn’t fit everything in my 30kg luggage.
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I defended my master’s thesis in plain house clothes, my friends and family around me and late night food waiting for me.
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Lea flew in last Friday to Manila from Singapore. I met her at the domestic airport early that afternoon. We were bumped into an earlier flight. We were set to go to the island of Coron in Palawan!
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Much is still left to discover, learn, know and resolve. For now, I continue to live as I am expected to, not as I may want it to.
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Today’s my last day of internship. Since my last update, evidently, a lot of things has happened. Put in a large dose of self-doubt, too. There were better days, though. How do I get all these feelings and emotions I’ve got all over the place in one writing? I guess I can’t. Here’s a ridiculous attempt.
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This month was a rough one. I often go about how bumpy the road is but I think this one day in April was the toughest of the tough. It felt like all my issues, big and small, in my entire life rolled into one ticking bomb that suddenly exploded one Tuesday morning.
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What if this is all I want? What if I'm no longer searching for more?
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Half way through March, what has been going on with life lately ? I have my fair share of ups and downs for the past month, it's crazy. I think I'm on the brink of going insane. To prevent any of that, I try to go back to what I find most relaxing and fulfilling : journaling and blogging.
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What has changed over the past few months since I temporarily moved out and started living on my own abroad?
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I used to love writing, documenting my everyday without it feeling like a task. I guess this [not writing everything down] is for the best – so that I will focus more in the present without having to worry or think about how I am going to describe my entire day.
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These past few days, aside from gray skies and occasional sunny days, life has been tough. I have been : tired, sad, frustrated, mad... everything else except happy, satisfied, content. This not being for all aspects of life but to one huge aspect defining life right now - my studies.
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They say silence is feedback. No feedback is some sort of feedback. Although unclear and undefined, it is, in a way, a response.
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